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What the Heck is an ENNEAGRAM

Knowing Your Enneagram Can CHANGE Your LIFE

A few years ago, when I was talking to a trusted friend, she turned to me and said, “I think you’re a 9.”

“Well thanks, I thought I was about a 6,” I said.

She laughed.

“No, 9. Enneagram 9.”

Enneagram is a system of personality types.

There are nine. Each personality type also has wingman (more on this later). I was intrigued. She told me she nailed me as a 9 The Peacemaker, because I was just like her daughter. And, as I was going through a divorce (number 2) she thought I could use this information to help me navigate through and beyond.

I was excited. A personality test. Something that would help me figure out why I did certain things that I liked and didn’t like? I was hooked. I ran home and found the test.

Here’s one you can take, but you can also find free versions on line.

First - the test is easy, and the results are clear — simple, just like I like.

The Enneagram Institute breaks it down:

"From one point of view, the Enneagram can be seen as a set of nine distinct personality types, with each number on the Enneagram denoting one type. It is common to find a little of yourself in all nine of the types, although one of them should stand out as being closest to yourself. This is your basic personality type.

Everyone emerges from childhood with one of the nine types dominating their personality, with inborn temperament and other pre-natal factors being the main determinants of our type. This is one area where most all of the major Enneagram authors agree — we are born with a dominant type.

Subsequently, this inborn orientation largely determines the ways in which we learn to adapt to our early childhood environment. It also seems to lead to certain unconscious orientations toward our parental figures, but why this is so, we still do not know. In any case, by the time children are four or five years old, their consciousness has developed sufficiently to have a separate sense of self. Although their identity is still very fluid, at this age children begin to establish themselves and find ways of fitting into the world on their own."

Enneagrams are not new.

The beginnings of the Enneagram are unclear, however there is evidence that the numerical and geometric system goes back to Sufi roots, early Christianity and a Jesuit mathematician. If you want to read more about the history here’s a link:

My test showed my friend was right. I am a 9 — a Peacemaker.

Other FAMOUS Peacemakers are Barak Obama, Marie Kondo, Ron Howard, Alicia Keys, Audrey Hepburn, Winnie-The-Pooh, and Luke Skywalker. Not bad company.

Here are the traits of a PEACEMAKER:

“Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.

Basic Fear: Of loss and separation

Basic Desire: To have inner stability “peace of mind”

From the Enneagram institute.

With this information in hand. I understood how I interacted at work, with family, with friends. It was a giant AHA moment.

I was able to see why I allowed certain behaviors around me and to me. I wanted PEACE even if it cost me a part of myself.

But how could I keep the best parts of me which are wanting PEACE but creating boundaries that would protect my mental and emotional health?

That is the million dollar question.

I purchased a book called the “Road Back to You An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery” by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile. Link to buy:

I also picked up “The Enneagram Collection — The Peaceful Mediator” from Beth McCord an Enneagram Coach. She has a book for each Enneagram type. Link to buy:


I learned that there are healthy traits, average traits and unhealthy traits — as well as wingmen. The wingmen are exactly that — other ENNEAGRAM types that you pull into when you’re stressed (good or bad stress).

I encourage you to take the taste and find out your personality type. Before I work with my clients, I have them all take the test. WHY? Becuase it helps me understand how they work. It helps me with expectations, how to present material, and how to listen.

Stay tuned…more to come on ENNEAGRAMS.

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